Today was a major accomplishment for me.I ran my very first race. I didn’t have any particular time goal, just to cross the finish line with dignity( that would be running,no tears,no collapsing when I cross the line). I did manage to meet that goal, although in this picture it looks like I am having a horrible time:
Don’t I just look fabulous(hah.)I did however, in full honesty, cry a little when I was done,(while wiping sweat on the boyfriend’s chest) I was upset at how awful my time was, I was upset that I was right in line with that cute little girl behind me, I was upset that I had to walk a few times, I felt inadequate. Stephen had to remind me that my goal was to finish, and that this was my very first race. I can’t be perfect the first time. It’s a learning experience and I did well.
I seem to have a terrible time savoring victories. I always have to point out the things I cannot do well, or won’t do well enough. It is so frustrating, because I know intellectually that I have done something well, and that I can accept it and congratulate myself. But, for some reason, I can’t make myself believe it.
For example, Body Image. I have lost weight, I have lost a good amount of weight.(comment for actual numbers). However, I still look in the mirror some days and just want to cry. I have to re-center my thoughts and turn them positive. You know what? That is the hardest thing I have ever attempted.
Alright, moving on to the actual race recap:) The weather looked like this:
Stephen got some weird pictures of us:
Have a great night!